The butter was melted, the eggs now certainly overcooked, and if I didn’t hook the tray back with my toe in the next 2 seconds the whole thing was going to experience death by drowning. Or I was.
We’ve all done things just for the Insta right? Ordered the OTT dish we didn’t actually want but knew would photo pretty – I’m looking at you everyone who has ever ordered a Fairyfloss Burger at Long Story Short Brunswick – or did the hike we weren’t physically prepared (or adequately dressed for) as the views looked amazing on Insta. (Story of my life, anyhow.)
Well, a Floating Breakfast is not just something you do for the ‘gram, it’s entire existence was created purely for it. Because, as I was to discover, eating breakfast in the pool sounds like a good idea, but is it in any way practical? Hells no.
Our Floating Breakfast experience was a faff from the beginning – we couldn’t even get the order right. I spied the leaflet advertising the in-room Floating Breakfast as soon as we entered our swoon-worthy pool villa at the Royal Purnama. (A villa this jammy cow had won in a contest on Insta.)
Noticing that all other listed activities – High Tea etc – were priced per person I assumed the Floating Breakfast, listed as 575,000 IDR (£30/$53AUD), was the same.
As we had a perfectly adequate buffet breakfast included with our room I (wisely, I thought) suggested we order the Floating Breakfast for just 1 person (for the pictures, mostly) and then we fill up at the restaurant later if we’re still peckish. (Never one to shy from a breakfast double dip, me.)
Justin made the call. “You want Floating Breakfast for just 1 person?” They asked, several times. “Yes,” he replied, because his wife told him to. They ended the call, Justin later admitted, sounding thoroughly confused, and then arrived at our door the next morning with a half full tray of food.
The sweet ladies began the surprisingly lengthy set up in our pool and when done asked me why we ordered for just one person. “The price includes two,” she told me. The penny dropped. We were about to pay $53AUD for 50% of the service. Red-cheeked, I said that yes, an extra coffee so that we could consume breakfast together would be nice actually.
In the meantime, Justin and I were left in peace to enjoy our unique experience. Who am I kidding? In the meantime, I made Justin take a million different photos I immediately hated (standard), the food was almost wiped out by a water feature (3 times), and my husband looked close to leaving me when I asked if he could be the model instead so I could show him the exact shot I needed.
I fretted about whether to be in the pool (and thus have flabby arms and cleavage exposed) or sit awkwardly on the side in a million-miles-from-natural pose.
I jumped in the pool to save the food, out of the pool to wrap up for photos, sent Justin and the camera “back, back, BACK” until he was in our room and, no doubt about it, pretty much ruined breakfast for both of us.
When the rest of the breakfast we were paying for arrived, I told myself enough was enough. We hopped in the water to eat the sun-saturated food and tried not to tip the tray with every slice of the Eggs Benedict.
Was it worth it? Well it depends if you value novelty more than practicality. Either way, the coffee was fabulous and I got a whole 22 Insta comments. Sigh.