Checking In Week 12: Hooligans Graffiti Our Home

Kim Kardashian and Kylie Jenner Street Art Brunswick Melbourne

Some might think that because we live in Brunswick our homes are fair game for graffiti artists. I think, however, that if you are a graffiti artist in Brunswick, walls to spray paint are 10 to the dozen. Why do you need to ruin our houses?

We woke up on Wednesday morning to find some kids had gone to town tagging our whole street. There are 4 of us in a row who have glass-fronted home offices with the living areas on the upper 2 floors, and all 4 of us were treated to graffiti on our front windows, walls, mailboxes and garages.

Giant, black, ugly, unidentified crew tags on our windows. That is not fair game mate.

(My face pretty much looked like Kim K’s in the above mural.)

So, this week I had a few firsts.

  1. I filed my first police report. Mainly because the neighbours had a security camera that captured the buggers so they wanted my complaint on file for the case too. And also because our landlord wanted to see one before approving the cost to remove it. (An ongoing battled ensued because we approved a cleaner for $60 before the full police report came through and apparently that was the wrong thing to do. That’s another story about what a joke renting in Australia is though...)
  2. I learned about graffiti removal. Turns out a bit of windowlene doesn’t cut it against black spray paint on glass. Also turns out (contrary to what 2 passers-by stopped to tell me) the council do not remove graffiti from private property. Not unless it’s racist or offensive. So, the big ugly tag is down to me to remove although the council will send me some equipment to help, at some unspecified time in the future. (My uber driver today suggested I draw a willy over the graffiti and make it offensive. I’m saving that for future reference lol.)

Meanwhile I sit in my light-filled office with the shadow of spray paint projecting through and, to be honest, it’s come at a bad time because I’ve been struggling to get Melbourne.

Problem is, Sydney is just really, really awesome. (IMHO.) She spoilt me. Melbourne, on the other hand, has been so hyped with all this ‘best place to live’ malarkey that I found myself walking around going ‘why exactly?’.

Don’t get me wrong, I totally think this is the place we’re meant to be right now. Business is going well for hubs and we’re close to friends and family who are currently going through some sad times. I’m glad we’re here. But from my experience so far there’s a whole lot of crazy, particularly in Melbourne CBD, that doesn’t marry well with the whole liveable city thing, if you ask me.

Street art in Melbourne CBD

Street art here: Good. On my front window: Bad.

Part of the problem could be living in Brunswick. It’s a suburb that’s somewhat gentrified, somewhat shabby. Our immediate area has hipster cafes, CrossFit gyms and raging pyrotechnics.  (I’d forgotten that I’d already met the local cops when they knocked on the door one night asking if I’d spotted who had lit the fire outside a neighbouring factory!)

It’s not just me who thinks there are lots of crazies. We went to a free comedy trial show this week with Dave Thornton who lives locally and includes life in Brunswick as a skit in his show. He mentioned that when all the professionals go to work there’s just unfiltered crazy on the streets and the examples he gave of what people have said to him on the street or in the supermarket made me weep. (‘What’s your thoughts on assisted euthanasia’ being one of them. Interesting question, although not usually asked of a stranger in the freezer aisle of Woollies.)

But today I’m in Sydney. Taking a mini-break to catch up with friends and join a Travel Massive party on a yacht on Sydney Harbour – coz that’s how they do xmas here. Perhaps this little time away from Melbourne will make me miss it. We’ll see.

PS I haven’t shared any photos of the actual graffiti because I don’t want to give the ‘crew’ the satisfaction. Also, coz privacy.


  • That is the thing with living on the gentrified cusp areas, really made me chuckle. I’m on the other side of the world and it feels the same. Hope you catch the buggers! And your landlord is an arse! Next time deffo make it into a willy!

    Jen xx

    • Jayne Gorman says:

      Lol it is good to know others in hipster/scruffy areas can relate. And yes I shall have to buy my own can of spray paint and get to work if it happens again haha.

  • Nicole says:


    That’s one thing that has been really bugging me about Melbourne for the last 12-months. All the gorgeous street ‘art’ is covered in ugly tags. Even the city laneways seem to be more covered in tags than art now-a-days.

    I’m still surprised you two chose to live on that side of town (I don’t know Justin quite as well as you, but you are totally an east-side girl) so I hope you’ll give my side of Melbs a go before chasing harbour life again. 🙂
    And we still have to go to that cafe named after you 😉

    Enjoy Sydney!

    • Jayne Gorman says:

      Thanks love! I was thinking the last time I went to Hosiers it was looking more scrawly than street art lately. Such a shame.

      And yes I know I still have much to explore here. Especially my namesake brunch place 😉

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